Step Up, Step Out, Step In

I just realized it’s been several months since I’ve blogged on here. Well lo and behold, here we are in 2021. The old has passed, the new has come. What was placed in my heart this morning is to write about perspectives in step-parenting. Many people do not like the word, “step.” There are many stigmas to the following words: stepfamily, stepdad, stepmom, stepchild, etc. The new term on the block is “blended family” or “bonus-(fill in the blank).” I’m here to share my personal perspective. As with everything, take it or leave it, receive it or reject it. Everyone has their own experience, this is mine, whether you “agree,” like it or not.

In a nutshell, I grew up in a two parent, married household. I never met my biological father. My mother re-married when I was 2 years old, and thus my “step” father stepped in and became my dad. I call him dad, or “papi” since that’s what we do in Puerto Rico and what was taught to me. He’s my dad, I love him. All is well.

Fast forward now in my adult years. I married my husband who has two daughters from a previous unmarried relationship. I have taken on his two girls as my own, however unlike my situation growing up, they have a biological mom that is in their lives . They live with her full time, and we see the girls every other weekend and on holidays and school breaks. This is what is in our court-ordered parenting plan, and we have chosen to adhere to this written plan for accountability and consistency purposes. When there is not a clear, written plan in place, much chaos ensues. So for the safety of all parties, we stay on the straight and narrow.

There are times when we’ve been out and about together and people refer to me as the girls mom, which is fine. I do not correct people in public, because I don’t want things to be awkward. However, the truth of the matter is, I am not their mom… they know it, I know it, we all know it. Now, please hear me out. I love these girls AS IF they were my daughters. I do all the things a mom would do when they are in my care.. make sure they have clothes, food, provide a safe place for them, am concerned about their education, their activities, discipline when necessary, talk to them about wise choices, friendships, their relationship with God, take them to church, celebrate their victories, encourage them when they fall, pray for them daily, etc. Sometimes we argue and get mad, sometimes we laugh and have fun. All normal things. However, for me to insert myself into their lives and declare, “I am your mom,” in my opinion is not healthy. They have a mom. No one can ever replace her, she gave birth to them, there is a bond there that will always be. I respect this. Do I agree with some things that happen sometimes? No. Is it my place to butt in? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I have realized that my role as a step-parent is not to place demands, but to come alongside my husband as he navigates co-parenting with his ex when the girls are away, as he steers the ship with me when they are with us, offer positive suggestions to their mom about healthy parenting choices that will help them thrive, and make myself available when they are in my care. Another very important role as a step-parent, weekend parent or for all parents is to always forgive and let things go. It is very easy to go into “blame” mode or “what if” mode. For example, “IF they were with us full time, things would be so much better!” OR “That would NEVER happen in our house.” Whether these claims are justified, correct or not, these thought processes are are not right and must be extinguished immediately. Honestly, I do not know how people that don’t have Jesus in their lives do it. If it wasn’t for God, my husband and I would not survive. We would be another statistic, another torn-apart broken family. However, with God, ALL things are possible. When the enemy tries to attack, we stand firm in our faith. We pray together, stay in unity, and do not waver. Some days are amazing, some days are hard.. such is life.

To all step-parents out there… stop trying to fit yourself in a box, you will most likely never fit in. Don’t beat yourself up when things don’t work out as planned or feel like you’re not “doing enough.” Be flexible, be available. Realize that it’s a step-by-step process. Sometimes we have to step up and be there. Sometimes we have to step back, keep quiet, and let things be handled by the bio parents. Sometimes we have to step in and intercede. Sometimes, we have to step out of the way, pray and trust in God.

Much love & many blessings on your journey. ❤

Listen to Your Elders

I’m currently making my way through the Bible, and today I landed in 2 Chronicles 10.  I’ve been in Chronicles since covid-19 came to our world, and there has been some stark and interesting parallels between the book of Chronicles and the times of coronavirus.  Let’s explore.

We start this passage with King Solomon’s son, Rehoboam assuming the throne, as Solomon has just passed away.   When the people of Israel came to make Rehoboam king, they had a request for him.  Apparently, according to verse 4, Solomon had “put a heavy yoke” on his people, therefore, they came to ask Rehoboam to “lighten the harsh labor and heavy yoke,” and then in exchange, they “will serve” him.

So we have a few things going on here.  In my opinion, there isn’t anything wrong with placing a request to the king. However, what is wrong is placing a condition on the request.  The people of Israel did not really ask and make a request, they pretty much presented an ultimatum.  They basically said, your dad made us work hard.  We don’t want to work hard anymore.  Lighten our load, otherwise we won’t serve you.  Sounds like a union-formed strike to me..

First of all, Rehoboam is the king, and by default, if the people of Israel are citizens of the kingdom, then it is their duty to serve. Second of all, why didn’t they place this request on Solomon?  Is it because Rehoboam is new, so they were trying to see how little they can work without repercussions?  Let’s say that perhaps the people are right; Solomon had been working them to the bone, their concerns are valid, and it’s time for their burdens to be lifted.  Fair enough.

The next part of the story thus shifts to King Rehoboam’s response.  In verse 5, the King basically told everyone, okay, give me three days and I’ll have an answer for you.  Fair response.  The King thus makes a wise decision and consults the elders.  These elders served during Solomon’s lifetime, so not only were they faithful servants, they were also probably very familiar with decision-making processes, and were first hand witnesses of what worked well or didn’t work well.  It is also safe to assume that a position of “elder” is not just someone that is of greater age, but also most likely possesses certain character traits, such as wisdom, experience, integrity, and sound judgment.  So when Rehoboam asked the elders how he should answer the people, the elders stated in verse 7 “if you will be kind to these people and please them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servant.” What a wise answer! Proverbs 21:21 states, “Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.”  Proverbs 11:17 says, “a man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.”  The elders are telling Rehoboam to be kind and honor their request.

However, instead of listening to the elders, what did Rehoboam do?  Verse 8 says that he rejected their advice!  Then what did he do after that?  He consulted the young people who had grown up with him (aka his peers)!  Really?  Come on!  What?  For real?  This guy is supposed to be the King, and instead he’s acting like a rebellious kid.

Rehoboam’s peers or friends, end up telling him to not be nice, but instead to be harsh (aka the opposite of wisdom)!  In verse 11, they tell him to say, “my father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier.  My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.”  WHY?  Is he trying to flex?  Are Rehoboam’s friends mad that the workers gave them an ultimatum?   Instead of listening to their concerns, they think it’s better to be harsh?  Power-tripping, perhaps?

So King Rehoboam ends up listening to his peers, instead of his elders. He tells the people of Israel all the harsh words that his friends told him to say.  This one man’s choice of not listening to his elders created grave consequences and ignited the prophecy from 1 Kings 14:7-11:  I raised you up from among the people and appointed you ruler over my people Israel.  I tore the kingdom away from the house of David, who kept my commands and followed me with all his heart, doing only what was right in my eyes.  You have done more evil than all who lived before you.  You have made for yourself other gods, idols made of metal; you have aroused my anger and turned your back on me.  Because of this, I am going to bring disaster on the house of Jeroboam.  I will cut off from Jeroboam every last male in Israel–slave or free.  I will burn up the house of Jeroboam as one burns dung, until it is all gone.  Dogs will eat those belonging to Jeroboam who die in the city, and the birds will feed on those who die in the country.  The Lord has spoken!

After the people hear that the King will not listen to them, war begins (verse 16-17).  This war could have been completely mitigated if one man would have made one right choice.

How many times have you made a choice in your life that created severe consequences?  How many times has an elder, parent, teacher, mentor or someone older, wiser, and with more experience told you something, however, you chose to listen to your unwise friends instead?

During these current coronavirus times, are you adhering to the guidelines and standards set forth by our governing elders?  Are you listening and taking things seriously?  Is it more important to hang out with your friends, gather in large crowds, and be harsh against our governing leaders and elders who are choosing to be safe and wise?  Lives are stake here!  Make the right choice.  #bewise

Instructions for Revival

Here is a presentation I recently gave on personal revival.  The Lord is calling for a revival amongst His people during this time of corona.  Are you ready to fully surrender to the Lord and put Him first as the King of your life?  Are you ready to knock down idols, step out of your comfort zone, and truly seek the Lord’s face?  We are in a spiritual battle.  The weapons presented here are worship, the Word, and prayer.  Time to suit up and wake up!

Do You Come in Peace?

About a year ago, I decided to start over in the Bible.  I started reading from the very beginning, line by line, not skipping over anything.  Even though I started over, I am not doing a “Bible in a year plan.”  If a one year reading plan works for you and gets you in the Word, then great.  However, I personally think it’s more important to go at your own pace, dive deep, and gain wisdom and understanding, no matter how long it takes.  Having the Word living and breathing inside of you is imperative, instead of trying to “accomplish” or reach an end goal.   Because I am not skipping over anything in the Bible, sometimes it takes days to digest and reflect on a particular passage.  Other times, I am able to consistently get through a nice chunk of Scripture. Today, I have landed in 2 Kings: 9.  Here’s the recap so far, along with some background info.

God appoints Jehu as the king of Israel and commands that he destroy the house of Ahab.

• Jehu is the son of Jehoshaphat, who was a “good” king of Judah.  During Jehoshaphat’s reign, he “followed the ways of his father and did not stray from them; he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord” (1 Kings 22:43).  “Jehoshaphat was also at peace with the king of Israel” (1 Kings 22:44).
• Ahab used to worship God, but once he married Jezebel, she influenced him to worship the false God, Baal and she began killing off the Lord’s prophets.  “Ahab did more evil in the eyes of the Lord than any of those before him” (1 Kings 16:30).  He thus ends up bleeding to death in his chariot (1 Kings 22:35), they wash the bloody chariot at a pool where prostitutes bathed, and dogs licked up his blood (1 King 22:38).

After Jehu becomes God’s anointed king, he conspires against Joram and Ahaziah (the kids of Ahab and Jezebel). According to 2 Kings 9:17-19, Jehu rides out to find Ahab’s kids.

• Joram sees Jehu’s troops appearing and says, “Get a horseman. Send him to meet them and ask, ‘Do you come in peace?‘”  The horseman rode off to meet Jehu and said, ‘This is what the king (Joram) says, “Do you come in peace?‘” Jehu replied, “What do you have to do with peace?  Fall in behind me.”
• So then Joram sent out a second horseman.  “This is what the king says, “Do you come in peace?”  Jehu replied, “What do you have to do with peace?  Fall in behind me.”
• Then Joram and his brother, Ahaziah, “rode out, each in his own chariot, to meet Jehu.  When Joram saw Jehu he asked, “Have you come in peace, Jehu?”  This time Jehu replied, “How can there be peace, as long as all the idolatry and witchcraft of your mother Jezebel abound?”

After all this “peace talk,” Joram and Ahaziah end up being destroyed.  Then Jehu goes off to find their mom, Jezebel.  When he arrives at her gate, she asked, “Have you come in peace, you Zimri, you murderer of your master?”  Jehu then “looked up at the window and called out, Who is on my side?  Who?”

Jezebel then ends up being thrown out of a window. “Some of her blood splattered the wall and the horses as they trampled her underfoot.”  Her body was left for dogs to eat, and “when they went to bury her, they found nothing except her skull, her feet and her hands” (2 Kings 9:33-37)

———

Wow.  Just wow.  Who needs to watch horror movies?  All you have to do is read the Bible.. (just kidding).  But for real, this story is crazy.  First I want to highlight the fact that there is an obvious war going on, not only in this particular book of the Bible, but in the life of a Christian.  Second, many will say that it is important to have peace, make peace, perhaps be a diplomat, compromise or attempt to “smooth things over” for the sake of peace.  However, this Scripture is saying that we are at war, there is a real enemy, and making peace with the enemy aka Satan is NOT the way and actually doesn’t make any sense.

• Jehu repeatedly states, “what do you (aka sinner/idol worshipper) have to do with peace?  Join and follow me! (aka turn from your ways and follow God’s way)”
• How can there be peace with the devil?  It’s an oxymoron, it does not exist, you can’t.
• How can there be peace as long as there is idolatry and witchcraft (sin) around?   Sin DOES NOT OFFER peace. Jehu is speaking real truth.
• Then, Jezebel’s statement, “do you come in peace, you murderer?” is complete irony.  How can a murderer be peaceful?  He can’t!

Ladies and gentlemen, we must pick a side and we must remain true. When Jehu confronts Jezebel, he yells out “Who is on my side?”  God is asking us the same thing.  Are you on His side?  If so, stand firm and declare that you are on the side of the Lord!   If there is sin lingering around in your life, how can you be at peace?  Sin MUST be destroyed if you truly want to live a life of peace. Who are you following?  If you are asking for peace, but not following Jesus aka the Prince of Peace, how can that be?  Also, please realize that peace is NOT the absence of war.  Peace is knowing and being confident of where your place is in the battle. Peace is knowing that as Christians, we have a King, a leader that can fight for us, and be alongside us through anything!  Do you truly trust that God is in control, that He is victorious, that He is good NO MATTER WHAT?

Brothers and sisters, take heart. Do not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9).

Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31).

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (John 14:27).

#Jesus is enough.  #Peace

Remain Steadfast

Therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. (1 Corinthians 15:58)

steadfast:

• fixed in direction; steadily directed.
• firm in purpose, resolution, or faith. 
• unwavering, as resolution, faith, adherence.
• firmly established
• firmly fixed in place or position.

As Christians, we are called to be and remain steadfast.  This is not to say that we are supposed to be stubborn, rigid and so “fixed in our ways” that we don’t allow a move of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us.  What this is saying is that we are to remain steady in our walk with the Lord.  We are to remain firm in Jesus and firmly established in His Word.  We are to have faith beyond measure, beyond what our eyes can see, beyond what is happening in our immediate circumstances.  Hebrews 11:1 states, now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Whether you are a Christian or not, many outside forces will come.  Sometimes a small breeze will try and ruffle your feathers or sometimes a hurricane storm will completely blindside, knock you down and try to destroy you.  However, as Christians, we not only have tools to navigate the storms of life, but an inner peace within our hearts that God has promised to us.

In John 16:32-33, Jesus is talking to his disciples before he is about to be taken to the cross.  He states, a time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home.  You will leave me all alone.  Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.  I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.

Prior to Jesus’ promise to bring peace, he speaks of grief and joy.  He states, very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices.  You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.  A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world (John 16: 20-21).

No matter what is happening, if you are obedient to the Lord, He will have your back.  If it appears that people in your life keep letting you down, rejecting you, opposing you or are blatantly turning their back on you for choosing God first, then say with confidence, the Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me? (Hebrews 13:6).

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:2-4).

We must keep our eyes on the prize.  We must remember why we are Christians.  We must stand our post and remain in place.  When you are flying in an airplane, and there is a bout of turbulence, the pilot tells everyone to stay in their seat.  When a storm came upon Jesus and the disciples, and the waves began to overcome the boat, the disciples were freaking out while Jesus remained steadfast and at peace. (Mark 4:35-41).

When a young child begins to throw a tantrum, are you going to give in even though you know it’s wrong or remain steadfast and consistent?  Do you want to be a leaf that easily flies away, and never lands anywhere every time a windy current comes along? Or do you want to be a rooted tree, firmly established throughout time, able to withstand various seasonal shifts and able to bear beautiful flowers and edible, nourishing fruit?

Ephesians 4:14-15 states, Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is Christ.

Are you able to speak up for your faith?  Or do you change what you believe depending on who you are surrounded by?  Are you firm and steadfast in the Lord?  If someone tries to take you down an ungodly path, are you able to decline the offer?

If you have been wishy washy, tossed around and not really landing anywhere, now is the time to put a stake in the ground.  Now is the time to declare that not only is Jesus my Lord and Savior, but now I am actually going to act like He is!  You can’t say that you’re a Christian, then behave like everyone else in the world.  If you have been saved, if you are a born-again, if you are a son or daughter of the most high King Jesus, then do your part and be the child God has created you to be.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please contact me.

Remain steadfast!

May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. (2 Thessalonians 3:5).

 

Get Off the Hamster Wheel

Do you ever feel like you are running around in circles like a hamster on a wheel?  Perhaps you’re doing the same thing over and over again, but not really “going anywhere?”  Maybe you’re spending endless amounts of time and energy for what seems like nothing?  If it appears that you are running nonstop in a wheel of motion, my encouragement to you is to STOP.  Stop running on the wheel.  Get off.  Take a breath.  Walk away.

Too often in life, we get caught up in things. Often times these things are “good.”  Sometimes we get caught up in circumstances, either from our own doing or out of our control.  Perhaps we are working hard in our jobs to provide for our family. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”  That’s a bold statement and one to be taken seriously, right?  Perhaps we are tirelessly tending to our children, activities, schedules, and “to do” lists. Proverbs 1:8-9 says, “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.”  Scripture says we must teach and guide our children, right?  

Maybe we are battling with addiction, depression, consumerism, reckless spending, or over-eating.  However, no matter how hard we “try,” we just can’t shake things off and get on the “right” footing?  Perhaps we are “working hard” in our ministry, serving wholeheartedly at church, and offering ourselves to people “in need.” Peter 4:10 states, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”  Yes, of course we are called to serve others, but at what cost?  If we are always so busy serving all the time, when are we spending precious time with God?

I challenge you to STOP.  Stop “working hard.”  Stop “making moves.”  Stop “trying.”  Stop doing the “right thing.”

If you are in a phase of life that feels “uncomfortable,” then great!  That means that God is in the midst, He is on the move, He is working something out in you.  Jesus didn’t die on the cross so we can comfortably sit back on a lazy-boy, drive an air-conditioned car, eat fast food because it’s “quick and easy,” and load up on a retirement fund.  News flash… living for Christ is NOT EASY.  So if any person tries to tell you that once you accept Jesus in your life, then all your problems will go away, they are lying!  Sorry, but it’s true.  So then why follow Jesus?  Because though things may not be easy, life will be filled with purpose, with grace, with mercy.  Because heaven is real.  Because once you work through the pain, the victory and joy that abounds will be everlasting!  Because through the midst of the storms that inevitably come, Jesus will be WITH YOU the WHOLE WAY, if you call on Him and allow him to be your comforter, your healer, and provider.

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.  She came to him and asked, “Lord don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?  Tell her to help me!”  

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed–or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  (Luke 10:38-42).

Who are you in this story?  Are you a Mary or are you a Martha?  Are you so distracted with making preparations for the next move in your life, that you are missing the point, which is to sit at the feet of Jesus and marvel at His presence?  If God’s voice seems unclear or inaudible to you, is it because your mind is filled with other things that may be inadvertently blocking God’s voice to penetrate?  Perhaps, you thought you heard God’s voice, but then things didn’t work out how you thought, so now His voice is being questioned?  In the garden of Eden, God’s voice was very clear.  “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”  (Genesis 2:16-17).  Then another voice comes along saying, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden”‘ (Genesis 3:1).

**Yes He did say!  Well, actually, maybe no He didn’t.  Um.. wait.. what did He say again?**

If God’s voice is not clear, then it is time to get with God NOW.  It is time to STOP doing whatever you are doing and truly, deeply, whole-heartedly seek the Lord.  Because if you are truly saved, if you claim to be a born-again Christian, and if you know for sure that you are a child of God, then God WILL SPEAK TO YOU.  He will tell you what to do and what not to do.  He will lead you on the narrow path.  He will correct you.  He will rebuke you.  He will heal you, offer His grace, provision, mercy and comfort.  He has even given us His Word, the Bible.  Are you reading it?  Are you studying it?  Not just looking at a “verse of the day” on your phone app for 2 seconds and then calling it good.  If there is something major happening in your life that you can’t quite get a grasp on, how is your prayer life?  Are you throwing up a 3 second prayer,  “please God, give me XYZ” and calling it good?  Or are you literally down on your knees, crying out to the Lord.  Have you fasted?  When was the last time you went a day without eating?  Perhaps instead of filling ourselves with bread aka food, we must actually fill ourselves with the “bread of life” aka Jesus.  Turn off your phone, the internet, all electronics.  Sit alone in silence for a long time or walk out into the woods alone with a Bible.  Reach out to God and anticipate hearing from Him.

When God speaks to you, it will be clear.  It will not be muddy, vague, or tempestuous.  And some times, when God tells us to do something, it’s the exact opposite of what we want to do or it may seem completely counter-intuitive or even impossible!  The gospel does not “make sense” to our feeble human minds.  Jesus walked on water.  Do you believe this?  Jesus put mud on a blind man’s eyes and then he was able to see.  People today are still being cured from blindness!  Jesus raised people from the dead.  Do you know that people are still being raised from the dead TODAY?  If you don’t believe that God can work a miracle in your life, then how can you say you are a follower of Christ?  It is time to lay EVERYTHING at his feet, bask in His presence and completely surrender.  And if that means some radical changes need to take place, then so be it!  God is not interested in lukewarm Christians trying to make a name for themselves.  God is calling out to His children and He is raising up warriors for Christ.  Will you fight the good fight?  Are you a warrior for Jesus?  What do you need to give up so you can fully and confidently be equipped to represent His Kingdom?

May the light of Christ be made real in your life!  May God’s victory triumph over all circumstances!  If you need someone to pray with you, please contact me.  I would love to walk alongside you and hear your story.

Testimony Time

I realized that over the past 7 years, since becoming a born-again Christian, I’ve shared portions of my testimony, when appropriate.  However, I haven’t laid it all out there in a cohesive form in quite some time.  So here we go…

I was raised in a multicultural non-Christian home. My parents were immigrants (Puerto Rican and Korean). Dad joined the military and mom stayed home with me and my sister. I never met my biological father. Everything was okay for the most part, until at age 14, I was raped via date rape drug by an older man. It was video taped, I was thrown into a porn ring with several girls, and further gang rapes ensued.  Police got involved, but charges were never pressed.  I began using marijuana and alcohol to subdue the pain.  Then I moved on to harder drugs; cocaine, ecstasy, mushrooms, meth, oxycontin, and a plethora of pharmaceutical pills.  I managed to graduate high school and college, but was still consumed by a lifestyle of addiction, unhealthy relationships with men, drugs and alcohol.  I popped in and out of AA/NA meetings, and then got involved with acupuncture and “natural healing.”  I traded in drugs for meditation, yoga and gluten-free juicing.  I went to Hindu meditation classes and Buddhist retreats where I got “enlightened.”  After several years of this, I realized I was in a new age cult.  I was so lost and empty.  

Then one day I was driving around aimlessly in Ballard, WA and I saw a sign with an arrow.  I immediately turned my car down the road to follow the arrow, felt a large hand pick me up and threw me into the doors of a church.  For several months I sat in the back of church on Sunday mornings, didn’t talk to anybody, just listened to the pastor.  Then I joined a “new believers” class, where a pastor handed me a Bible.  When he gave it to me, I asked, “what do I do?”  He said “open it.”  

The pastor then proceeded to show me a powerpoint slideshow of catechisms (what Christians believe), and every time he clicked the slide, a layer of veil got removed from my eyes.  Until finally, I was able to see…. JESUS.  I could finally see that Jesus was the truth, the way and the life, and that my entire existence had been a lie up until this point.  After this, I moved to West Seattle, shared my testimony on a pulpit, and got baptized (March 7, 2013, my born-again birthdate).  Then God sent me to Spain where I hiked across the country for 40 days.  All I had was a backpack with two changes of clothes and my Bible.  I had no idea how I was going to get food or where I would sleep every night, but God did.  He took care of me and it was good. 

Then I came back to Seattle and joined a seminary to pursue a Master’s in Counseling Psychology.  I hustled as a waitress and paid for school with my cash tips.  After one year, I ran out of money, then God said I was ready to have a husband.  So then I got married, became a step mom, and had a baby boy.  I became a paid Christian preschool teacher and now I’m an instructional aide at a private Christian elementary school.  God’s not done with me yet, and I am excited for what’s yet to come.  I pray that the Lord continues to use me for His purposes!  I recently heard the call to bring 7 or 8 souls to Christ and I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but God does.  I pray that I can remain steadfast and rest in His plan.  All power and glory to the Most High!

What is your testimony?  How did you come to know Christ?  If you are still seeking, are unsure or have questions about Jesus and how to be set free, please contact me.  I may not have all the answers, but I can walk alongside you. You are not alone.

Woe to Prosperity!

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6:10

Dear local church,

My family and I recently visited you on a Sunday morning.  The worship was amazing, tears were shed, the congregation was engaged, singing and praising.  Repeatedly, we sang “I’m not here for blessings, Jesus you don’t owe me anything.  More than anything that you can do, I just want YOU.”  We all united together in worship and sung this truth together.

Then immediately afterwards, a man with the title “Dr.” in front of his name, jumped on stage and started talking about how he gets to sit in first class, how KFC (the restaurant) “increased” from $2 million profit to $275 million profit and that if you want blessings in your life too, then you can purchase his $200 dvd/cd package.  Everything he spoke was glorifying his “success program” instead of giving glory to the Most High God.  I gave it a few minutes, waiting for him to open his Bible and start speaking the Word of God. It didn’t happen.  Instead he began talking about the “magic” of tinker bell at Disneyland.  At this point, I walked out of the room.  With tithe money in my pocket, I thought no way.  Not giving my tithe to this “church.”  I then walked into the prayer room and began praying.  What happened next was even more disturbing.  As I was sitting in the prayer room, I heard a song playing in the sanctuary.  The lyrics of the song stated “you have a magic touch, I put a spell on you.”  WHAT?  Oh heck no.  This was blatant and obvious witchcraft and I reject it all in the name of Jesus!

When I respectfully approached this “speaker” about the incongruence of his “increase thinking” message with the truth of the Word of God, he stated that in the Old Testament, Abraham was the richest man in the world and that God wants to bless rich people.  When I asked him about Jesus, he stated that Abraham was before Jesus, and therefore discounted him.  He basically brushed off our Savior!  Wow.  When I think of Abraham, I think of a man obedient to God, not as the “richest man in the world.”

I have yet to find anything about “increase thinking” in the Bible.  Yes the Bible does talk about “increase,” yes we have a good father who wants to bless and provide for his children, and yes the Bible says to “renew your mind” (Romans 12:2).  However, in the “renewing of our mind,” it means we are “not to conform to the patterns of this world!”  That we are to keep our minds centered and fixed on Jesus by “testing and discerning the will of God what is good” (Romans 12:2).  We can not discount or brush off Jesus!

The Bible clearly states that “you can not serve masters, you cannot serve God and money (mammon)” (Matthew 6:24).

Jesus said in John 2:16, “Get these out of here!  Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!”

Ecclesisastes 5:10 states “whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.  This too is meaningless.” 

In Matthew 19:23-24, Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

Local church, it is not my place to condemn or judge others and I apologize if I am coming off harsh.  However, I can not in good faith open my ears to listen to something that is contrary to Scripture, promoting self-glorification and encouraging sorcery!  I do not want to see a congregation be led astray!  Please return to the truth!  Stand firm in the Word of God and cast away anything that attempts to steal glory from our Father!  Repent of the sin of greed, envy and worldly success.

If one is privileged to have money or good “fortune,” then one can be a “blessing to others,” but at what cost?  At what cost will one go to obtain this?  We are to “store up treasures in Heaven, not on this earth” (Matthew 6:19-21).  Yes of course, we, the church,  need money to keep the lights on, to have a building to meet in, to send missionaries out, to pay for pastors and staff, etc.  That is why tithing is important and my husband and I faithfully tithe every month.  However, it is one thing to be a good steward of the gifts and blessings that God has bestowed upon us and another thing to hastily demand more “increase” by new age positive thinking disguised as “Bible-based success strategies.”  Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said “never will I leave you, never will I forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

I pray for wisdom amongst church leaders and this particular congregation.  I pray for God’s will to be done and for the truth to conquer the lies of the enemy.   I pray for every self-proclaimed Christian to cling to God’s Word, earnestly pray and seek the truth in all matters!

Sincerely,

Your neighbor and sister in Christ

Levite + Concubine (Text of Terror)

Painting by Mario Moore (2009)

I am currently making my way through the Old Testament and have landed on Judges 19.  I’ve been reflecting and simmering over this text for some time, trying to make sense of the horror of this story.  The conclusion I’ve came up with is sin sucks.  It sucks really bad, and inevitably leads to destruction and death.

Here’s the recap…

Israel had no king (Judges 19:1):  Right away the story is letting us know that the people (Israelites) have no one in authority to follow or be accountable too.  No king = free for all.  Do whatever you want.  What happens when a parent lets their kids do whatever they want?  Or a boss who lets their employees work whenever and however they want?  No leadership, especially godly leadership, is no bueno.  *insert thumbs down*

A Levite who lived in a remote area in the hill country of Ephraim took a concubine.. (Judges 19:1):  A Levite is from the tribe of Levi and they are the ones who worked in the temple with the priests (i.e. Levites were the ones who played worship music, handled security, etc.).  Even though the practice of taking concubines (ie. legal mistress) is prevalent throughout the Bible, is it right?  Especially for a Levite to do so?  Levites are supposed to be ambassadors of God’s holy temple.  Even in today’s times, just because something is “legal” doesn’t make it right.

She (the concubine) was unfaithful.  She left and went back to her parent’s house (Judges 19:2).  The concubine cheated on the Levite.  This is somewhat ironic, because technically the Levite was “cheating” on his wife by taking a concubine in the first place.  Then she left him and went back to her parents house, which shows that her father still had authority over her instead of her pseudo-husband.  Once again the cultural context must be taken into consideration, however, the situation just doesn’t seem ideal.

In Judges 19:3-9, the text states that the Levite went to the concubine’s house to persuade her to come back to him.  Her father welcomed the Levite with hospitality and kept persuading him with food and drink to stay.  Scripture also refers to this man as a “father-in-law” and the Levite is referred to as a “son-in-law,” which makes no sense because they weren’t technically married.  Perhaps the father wanted the Levite to present an offering for his daughter?  A bride price?

So then the Levite, his servant and concubine finally left together and started heading back to the temple.  Along the way, the Levite did not want to stop in any cities whose people were not Israelites. “He said, ‘come, let’s try to reach Gibeah or Ramah and spend the night in one of those places'” (Judges 19: 13), even though his servant who he was traveling with suggested otherwise.  When they reached the town of Gibeah in the tribe of Benjamin, they “stopped to spend the night.  They went and sat in the city square, but no one took them in for the night” (Judges 19:15).  

Finally, an old man came and offered them to stay at his house for the evening.  This is where the story gets really twisted.  The Levite, concubine and servant all end up staying the night at this old man’s house.  However, “some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house.  Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, “Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him.”  (Judges 19:22).  Once again the irony is thick, because the Levite originally did not want to stop at a city that didn’t inhabit Israelites, assuming that Israelite towns were better.  Apparently this is not the case, because “wicked men” were residing in Gibeah.  Also, it’s ironic because the Levite technically did this to the concubine when he went to her father’s house.  He basically knocked on her father’s door, asking her to come out of the house and come back with him so she can continue to be his “mistress” aka sex slave.

The story ends up getting worse, as the old man refused to give up the Levite, but instead offered his virgin daughter and concubine to be raped and abused all night.  “When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold.  He said to her, “Get up; let’s go.”  But there was no answer.  Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home.”  (Judges 19:27-28).  We now see a shift in the text.  The Levite is no longer referred to as the concubine’s “husband.”  He is now referred to as her “master.”  Also, we don’t know if she is confirmed dead on the doorway or still alive.  We do know that there is no weeping, no sadness, no nothing.

And just when you think things can’t get worse, it does.  When the Levite returned home, “he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel.”  (Judges 19:29).  It all seems to be straight out of a horror film, but no, it’s straight from the Bible.  Why did the Levite send her body parts to the 12 tribes?  To start a war amongst the tribes?  Because how dare someone do something to “his property.”  Throughout the remainder of the book of Judges, war and punishment ensue and at the end it is once again stated, “in those days, Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.”  (Judges 21:25).

Left to our own devices, we too have the capacity to become murderers, adulterers, rapists, lustful, prideful creatures who treat others like objects.  All praises and glory to our King Jesus who died on the cross for our sins, so we don’t have to be like this!  We don’t have to be a nameless concubine, a nameless servant, or a nameless Levite.  God has given each and every one of us a name to sit alongside Him in the throne room one day.  Do you want God to be the King of your life?  Or do you want to do whatever you see fit with no oversight or accountability?

#JustSayNoToSelfies

What is happening to this world that we live in?  Modern day America is going downhill.  Everywhere you turn, people have their faces planted in their phones (or digital device).  Phones aren’t even phones anymore because half the time, people don’t even talk to people on the phone, they are texting, emailing or video chatting instead.  Phones are now mini handheld computers that conveniently fit in your pocket.

This is a phone.  (*ring ring* “hello?” initiate conversation)

 

This is not a phone!  (*insert favorite song* beep, buzz, vibrate, a million different sounds, lights flashing, images popping up and down, endless possibilities, overstimulation, collapse, fingers moving too fast leading to carpal tunnel syndrome, radiation pouring into my head, eyes getting dry and red from light emission, I forgot what I was doing, so I’ll just google something instead, where am I going, GPS, attention deficit disorder, multi-tasking, addiction, stunting your kids’ brain development, time for a selfie, check my profile, check email, send a text, don’t make eye contact with anyone, just bury my face in my phone, because I have no self control and can’t put my device down and be a real person, battery dying, must charge phone before I have a meltdown).

Why?

With phones turning into mini computers, the rise of social media outlets is also just as astonishing.  Why do people have to have so many online profiles?

#WAKEUP  #GETALIFE

Why do we need to “advertise” our lives?  I don’t get it!  Do I really need a billboard of myself?  You can call me a hypocrite for having this blog and for having an email address, however, I deleted my facebook and twitter back in 2014 and haven’t turned back since.  It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders to be free from these time-wasting vesicles.  It was like giving up on drugs.  I went through withdrawals for a few weeks, didn’t think I could do it, thought about re-instating my profiles, felt so disconnected and “alone.”  Until the veil was lifted, my brain re-aligned itself and I began to see clearly again!  I could see the trees around me for the first time.  I could smell the flowers blooming in the air.  I could hear the birds chirping from their nests.  My brain wasn’t bogged down anymore with online media pollution.  The best part was when I met people and at the end of our conversation, they asked me what my facebook was.  I loved people’s reaction when I told them I didn’t have a facebook profile.  The moment of awkwardness or astonishment in their face was priceless.  How this could be?  You mean I actually have to make a real connection with you?  So does this mean we have to exchange phone numbers now because I actually don’t really ever want to call you.  I really just wanted to be your “friend” online and then engage in mutual voyeurism of each other’s profiles..

During my first year of psychology graduate school, one of the professors stated to a room full of future therapists that we are going to have to deal with a whole new set of issues, problems and disorders that has never been around in the history of time. Technology, media consumption, and online social worlds are shaping people, their behaviors, and their brains like never before.  It’s even going as far as re-defining what it means to be human.  I stand with a Biblical worldview in that we, the people, (creation)’s identity is defined by our relationship with our Creator.  No amount of technology can ever take that away.  However, whether you believe in God or not, whether you are following Jesus or not, maybe it’s time to take a step back and evaluate the use of your time.  One of the first issues we discussed in my class was “gaze aversion” and how it is destroying our relationships.   What are you looking at?  Is it really that important?  Are you looking up or down?  Is your gaze towards the almighty God who created the heavens and the earth?  Or are you gazing down at your 50th selfie?

#JustSayNoToSelfies